*_the gEr _*

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its myee life.

Monday, July 25, 2005

kie.. am feeling better tOdae.. muCh better.. in a better sTate oF minD @ least..
i founD out this seCret abouT mY mummy anD daddy ytD.. tt i wasnt suppOsed tO noe obviously.. unintentionalli.. sadly.. anD wuDever.. yup.. i founD out.. anD i found it sO damn haRd to accept it ytD.. went into depRession..
sometimes.. i realli feel tt i am veri sheltered anD all.. i aint anithing like jie.. she's realli veri sTrong.. despiTe her puny siZe anD all.. theRe's lotsa things whiCh she haF tO go thRough.. whiCh i neva haf tO... so why am i gRumbling? but anw.. jie's right.. we may nOt be able tO change the way things aRe.. but we haf cOntRol over the way we look @ things.. iF we chOose tO live in misery anD all.. tt's an addtional pRoblem on top oF wuD u R faCing.. besides.. u will be makin things wOrse foR ppl aRd you.. iF u chOose to live happily.. u haf one pRoblem less to faCe.. sometimes... it';s really juX a matter oF perspeCtive.. i tOt wuD she said made sense.. anD da la~~ i bRoke fRee anD took a whOle new pErspeCtive..
wenT joggin wiF darz todae.. was fun anD all =D all the sudden we remb tt it has been ages sinCe we bOth jog tgt.. ha3.. time flies.. the last time we jogged tgt.. she still wasnt as cheerful as she is nOw.. tRoubled anD stuff.. oh ya! was tellin darz bt gRanny...anD tot she haf a pOint there tOo..she was like tellin mi we all haf to leave this wOrld one dae.. like it anot.. wuD matters mOst is whether anot we haf made a impact on the ppp aRd us.. maybe granny has walked her bit oF life??
life's full oF dilemmas.. on one hand i wished tt gRanny will realli live long.. long enuff to see mi gRaduate fRom a pestigious uni.. anD even to see mi getting married [ie iF i thought it thRough anD deCided to get marrieD one dae]... BUT then again.. i tot tt's kinDa selfish oF mi... was sitting by her bed ytd.. we aRe enjOying her pResence @ the expense oF her sufferings.. maYbe it would be a gReat relief for her to leave this wOrld..
but then again.. i juX cldnt bear to part wiF her..
i was tellin darz hOw i wldnt want to live beyond 75.. anD she was like saying.. "see.. even you dun wan to live till tt age.. uR granny might nOt want to either".. tt's something tt neva realli cRossed mYee mind befOre..
anw.. darz's realli blessed.. she has all her grandparents by hEr siDe...
oh ya! fOrmed a "communist" gRoup oF fRiends duRing PE lessons tOdae.. ha3,.. yepss... pRetty cool huh... getting tO knOw new ppl anD all... tt maDe mYee dae =))

[x] i lovee myself ((://*
7/25/2005 05:20:00 PM

``like miee for miee -- // * -nobody's perfectt-