*_the gEr _*

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its myee life.

Friday, July 29, 2005

unpRediCtable... fRagile... yes.. tt's life...

1st was wiF gRanny.. juX when we weRe expEcting gRanny to recover anD getting all the admin stuff done to tRansfer gRanny to Saint Andrew hOspital fOr her physiotherapy... hEr stomach deCided to bleed internalli.. anD she has tO be admitted to ICU tt dae... [ glad tt @ least her condition's stbilised nOw =) ]
anD neXt was the j1 ger whO juX passed away... juX a few daes agO.. she's all well takin e same bus as mi.. juX less than a metRe away.. anD nOw.. she's so far away fRom all oF us.. she left us all.. i juX cant help feeling sad fOr her.. despite the faCt tt i dun realli nOe her..
a big question maRk: whEre did she gO??
ken's giRlfRienD oR gOing-to-be [i haF nO idea whiCh].. anw.. she passed away.. anD she's mErely 17.. can u imagine the long-neva-ending list oF things she haf yet to do? i mean.. 17.. anD she juX died liddat.. she haf a lot in life whiCh she have yet to haf a taste of.. whiCh she has yet to experienCe.. anD she juX left all the sudden.. anD cause: unknOwn. is this faiR to her? [okie.. i haf no rigths to aCtualli quEstion the fate gOd has given her.. oR rather her destiny] i cant imagine the pain her parents anD frienDs aRe feeling.. it muX haf been so unbearable.. anD wuD's mine as compared to theirs? nOthing!
speakin bt tt... saw ken.. he wasnt realli as tRaumatised as i expect him to be.. guys.. how disappointing.. he's still like tokin to his friend bt wuD to eat oR *wuDever.. nOt tt i am evil anD all.. nOt tt i wan to see him sad.. cRy oR wuDever either.. but shldnt he be feelin sad? i mean his giRlfrienD passed away! hello? fuCk. it wld be wOrse off iF it's going-to-be.. as in shldnt he be regRettin nOt tellin her hOw muCh she meant to him? how muCh he wanted to be tgt wiF her anD stuff liddat? was quite tuRned off wiF his reaCtion towaRds this inCident.. feelin injuStiCe fOr the ger.. kie.. i am in nO poSition to interfere hOw he shld be behaving aCtually.. i shant comment ani fuRther then.. shall kip it all to mYself..

her death seems tO haf some kinDa impaCt on mi.. in one way oR anOther.. it makes mi ponDer.. anD trIggered off mYee thoughts.. thoughts came flooding in the whole dae...
while dOing biOlogy mCQs pRelim... i was thinking.. where dOes the gate between life anD death leads tO?? where did the ger gO... nOw tt she passed away? can she still see her loved ones fRom where she is? is she happiEr? oR did she died wiF regRets? wiF regRets nOt sTarting wiF ken.. despite the faCt tt they bOth haf an affinity fOr each other..

u neva nOe when is the last time u will be seeing toking playing someone.. smthg can juX happen uneXpectedly.. w/o any warning anD u juX lose the person.. anD fOrever.. u will be divided anD separated by tt mere line.. between life anD death..

i am realli thankful.. tt i m @ least able to bReathe.. taking in o2 anD giving ouT co2.. a miRaculously simple aCtion.. tt has so muCh powEr in determining ouR ability to do things in life... all the sudden.. the thought oF juX being able to walk run jump eat study makes mi feel so blessed...

went tO seCret hiDeout wiF darz.. bRought van.. wang anD chOo along.. simply luRfs it there.. tranquil.. it's serenity juX sets mi thinking.. i juX luRf it this way.. simple anD niCee... closing mYee eYes.. listening tO everY details oF sounD aRd.. swinging ouR legs.. anD the BEST paRt oF all.. nOeing tt all miee sweeties aRe juX neXt tO mi=)) it's juX simply sO heaven-ly.. wuD mOre can i ask fOr?

[x] i lovee myself ((://*
7/29/2005 11:55:00 PM

``like miee for miee -- // * -nobody's perfectt-